Haha! I should know more about this, considering I helped out with setting things up a bit here and there. :'D But, what I'm worried about is that it'll be unfinished? Maybe I should try and come up with something else.
I'd appreciate someone beta-ing, but I'd feel bad giving them all this stuff to sort out. *laughs!*
Basically, I can't figure out the tenses I'm using. X.x It's written in Rin's POV and starts out as him kind of remembering the way Haru behaved at the start of their trip to Australia and then slowly has them growing more comfortable?
At the start of their impromptu trip to Australia, Rin had only ever caught mere glimpses of it: a worn looking corner sticking out of Haru's travel bag as Rin impatiently prompted him to fetch his passport for check-in at Tottori Aiport; its navy fabric-wrapped spine trapped between Haru's thigh and a neatly folded airline blanket while they prepared for take-off; restless fingers nervously playing with its frayed ribbon marker when the plane began descending...
Never anything more than that, because Haru had seemed dead-set on waiting for Rin to fall asleep before taking it out of its hiding place and opening it up—which he obviously wasn't going to do on a short domestic flight like that, so why hadn't Haru simply stored it away in the overhead compartment along with their bags? Rin would've been lying if he'd said his curiosity hadn't been piqued, but back then he'd still been able to shrug it off with relative ease. He had more pressing matters to deal with, after all. Namely making sure he didn't lose sight of Haru while they made their way through the crowded airport (dodging incoming luggage trolleys and avoiding collisions with harried looking tourists) without being too obvious about it.
"C'mon, Haru..." He'd urged so many times he'd actually lost count. "Stop dragging your feet already!"
Like so, except I'm really not liking it? It eventually settles back into the regular past tense halfway through the chapter. (I hope that makes sense... X__x)
Another problem is that I have no idea how to characterize Haruka & Rin here. Did they even talk at all on the way to Australia? It seems like Haruka didn't get annoyed enough to ask where they were going until they were already in Sydney. Were they grumpy with each other? Rin is really gentle with Haruka throughout the rest of the episode, though... *tears hair out!*
ON TOP OF THAT: I think my main issue is that this fic was supposed to turn into a longer chaptered fic where Rin & Haruka don't get together right away, but have a mutually acknowledged UST between them while Rin is training in Australia. To keep each other motivated while they can't technically race each other they keep a makeshift scoreboard with their "swimming idols" best times on it that they intend to beat by the time they make it to the national team together. It was meant to happen when Haruka gets fed up with Rin constantly peeking at his sketchbook and jokingly going, "You should get your own." and Rin thinks that's a brilliant idea? (Aaaand in the meantime they battle with the urge to get into each other's pants, even though they kind of agreed not to do anything stupid because long distance relationships are hard for anyone---let alone two idiots who haven't dated anyone before. ever.)
Re: rinharu week
I'd appreciate someone beta-ing, but I'd feel bad giving them all this stuff to sort out. *laughs!*
Basically, I can't figure out the tenses I'm using. X.x It's written in Rin's POV and starts out as him kind of remembering the way Haru behaved at the start of their trip to Australia and then slowly has them growing more comfortable?
At the start of their impromptu trip to Australia, Rin had only ever caught mere glimpses of it: a worn looking corner sticking out of Haru's travel bag as Rin impatiently prompted him to fetch his passport for check-in at Tottori Aiport; its navy fabric-wrapped spine trapped between Haru's thigh and a neatly folded airline blanket while they prepared for take-off; restless fingers nervously playing with its frayed ribbon marker when the plane began descending...
Never anything more than that, because Haru had seemed dead-set on waiting for Rin to fall asleep before taking it out of its hiding place and opening it up—which he obviously wasn't going to do on a short domestic flight like that, so why hadn't Haru simply stored it away in the overhead compartment along with their bags? Rin would've been lying if he'd said his curiosity hadn't been piqued, but back then he'd still been able to shrug it off with relative ease. He had more pressing matters to deal with, after all. Namely making sure he didn't lose sight of Haru while they made their way through the crowded airport (dodging incoming luggage trolleys and avoiding collisions with harried looking tourists) without being too obvious about it.
"C'mon, Haru..." He'd urged so many times he'd actually lost count. "Stop dragging your feet already!"
Like so, except I'm really not liking it? It eventually settles back into the regular past tense halfway through the chapter. (I hope that makes sense... X__x)
Another problem is that I have no idea how to characterize Haruka & Rin here. Did they even talk at all on the way to Australia? It seems like Haruka didn't get annoyed enough to ask where they were going until they were already in Sydney. Were they grumpy with each other? Rin is really gentle with Haruka throughout the rest of the episode, though... *tears hair out!*
ON TOP OF THAT: I think my main issue is that this fic was supposed to turn into a longer chaptered fic where Rin & Haruka don't get together right away, but have a mutually acknowledged UST between them while Rin is training in Australia. To keep each other motivated while they can't technically race each other they keep a makeshift scoreboard with their "swimming idols" best times on it that they intend to beat by the time they make it to the national team together. It was meant to happen when Haruka gets fed up with Rin constantly peeking at his sketchbook and jokingly going, "You should get your own." and Rin thinks that's a brilliant idea? (Aaaand in the meantime they battle with the urge to get into each other's pants, even though they kind of agreed not to do anything stupid because long distance relationships are hard for anyone---let alone two idiots who haven't dated anyone before. ever.)