rinharu | The Author Hub Post for Fic

Entry tags:

The Author Hub Post for Fic

This post is for authors to help talk out ideas, characterization, and other things that they want to write. Start off with your ideas, give suggestions...

You can check up on each other's progress, get beta help, and be supportive of each other. It helps increase productivity and boosts the mood of the community!

Have at it, but please keep in mind the rules. Especially keep in mind that there will be disagreements, but for the sake of this post, I ask that you please be courteous with others.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I doubt they would restrict you against it or anything, as long as it fits the guidelines right?

http://rinharuweek.tumblr.com/guidelines it says you can make it as long as you want.

And I wonder if anyone else here would be willing to beta for you? People can look it over and all.

Is there something that you want to develop especially? Tell us your main idea if you don't mind, something you're stuck on, and maybe we can give our ideas too?

Haha! I should know more about this, considering I helped out with setting things up a bit here and there. :'D But, what I'm worried about is that it'll be unfinished? Maybe I should try and come up with something else.

I'd appreciate someone beta-ing, but I'd feel bad giving them all this stuff to sort out. *laughs!*

Basically, I can't figure out the tenses I'm using. X.x It's written in Rin's POV and starts out as him kind of remembering the way Haru behaved at the start of their trip to Australia and then slowly has them growing more comfortable?

At the start of their impromptu trip to Australia, Rin had only ever caught mere glimpses of it: a worn looking corner sticking out of Haru's travel bag as Rin impatiently prompted him to fetch his passport for check-in at Tottori Aiport; its navy fabric-wrapped spine trapped between Haru's thigh and a neatly folded airline blanket while they prepared for take-off; restless fingers nervously playing with its frayed ribbon marker when the plane began descending...

Never anything more than that, because Haru had seemed dead-set on waiting for Rin to fall asleep before taking it out of its hiding place and opening it up—which he obviously wasn't going to do on a short domestic flight like that, so why hadn't Haru simply stored it away in the overhead compartment along with their bags? Rin would've been lying if he'd said his curiosity hadn't been piqued, but back then he'd still been able to shrug it off with relative ease. He had more pressing matters to deal with, after all. Namely making sure he didn't lose sight of Haru while they made their way through the crowded airport (dodging incoming luggage trolleys and avoiding collisions with harried looking tourists) without being too obvious about it.

"C'mon, Haru..." He'd urged so many times he'd actually lost count. "Stop dragging your feet already!"

Like so, except I'm really not liking it? It eventually settles back into the regular past tense halfway through the chapter. (I hope that makes sense... X__x)

Another problem is that I have no idea how to characterize Haruka & Rin here. Did they even talk at all on the way to Australia? It seems like Haruka didn't get annoyed enough to ask where they were going until they were already in Sydney. Were they grumpy with each other? Rin is really gentle with Haruka throughout the rest of the episode, though... *tears hair out!*

ON TOP OF THAT: I think my main issue is that this fic was supposed to turn into a longer chaptered fic where Rin & Haruka don't get together right away, but have a mutually acknowledged UST between them while Rin is training in Australia. To keep each other motivated while they can't technically race each other they keep a makeshift scoreboard with their "swimming idols" best times on it that they intend to beat by the time they make it to the national team together. It was meant to happen when Haruka gets fed up with Rin constantly peeking at his sketchbook and jokingly going, "You should get your own." and Rin thinks that's a brilliant idea? (Aaaand in the meantime they battle with the urge to get into each other's pants, even though they kind of agreed not to do anything stupid because long distance relationships are hard for anyone---let alone two idiots who haven't dated anyone before. ever.)

Augh, my head is pounding too much to figure out tenses at the moment, but anyone else have any advice on that side of things?

While Haru might have been reluctant to open up during the trip to Australia, I don't think that Rin was grumpy with Haru. Rin was probably understanding that Haru wasn't feeling up to talking at that time and didn't bring up the issue. Nor do I think Haru was grumpy with Rin either, more just feeling weighed down by matters on his mind.

That sounds like an interesting kind of plot! It does sound like it can be long, but maybe you could write a part of this story for Rinharu week and continue the rest of it afterwards?

I think the canon skipped over any scenes of Rin and Haru on the way to Australia just because it would've been a NIGHTMARE to try and portray. They'd have to get Haru packed, get him onto the train to Tottori, get him onto a plane to Tokyo, and get him onto ANOTHER plane to Sydney, so for them not to have spoken at all during that time seems unlikely.

However, if they spoke, I doubt it was anything to do with their lives at the moment, by mutual silent agreement. Suggesting grabbing a bite to eat before boarding a plane, offering use of a blanket on the overnight flight, loaning use of an mp3 player (probably full of English songs that Haru would decline)--that kind of idle stuff I can see. Kind of like pointedly ignoring the Big Stuff but still being civil with each other, as suggested.

Re: the tenses, I've had similar issues. It comes up quite a bit when you write long, extended flashbacks, because you're compelled to write in pluperfect to remain explicitly grammatically correct (e.g. "Rin reflected back on their time together and remembered when they had first met. He had been eleven at the time, and Haru had just kicked his ass in the pool." -- lots of 'had', in other words). But when you're writing thousands and thousands of words of that, it's easy to forget you're not writing in simple past.

So writing in the pluperfect, as Lin has done in the excerpt, is correct, because Rin is thinking about action-before-the-present, when 'the present' is already written in the past tense. That tense should be stuck with as long as the flashback is happening (or as long as the character is thinking about things that happened in the past), though I must confess that I've cheated and slipped steadily back into the simple past for extended flashback passages (like All That Glitters).

Hope that helps!

That makes sense. How many hours is that trip? It would be too long for no exchange of words at all. Though I'd so like to see something with the ride home.

Huh, while I need to process all that, the advice seems quite useful!

Thank you, ~~Courtney~~ senpai! <3

You'd already helped so much on IRC, but being able to re-read it here calmly (without Rin's assets being a distraction) is really useful. Much appreciated!

I suppose there's nothing to it, then. I've asked sexuallyfrustratedshark to read it over for me & she artist-picked it wonderfully and assured me it's not as boring to read as I feared it was... maybe now it's up to plaemon to shake any more kinks out before I submit it for rinharuweek and move on to the next prompt. :D *sweats nervously!*

P.S. I never noticed you slipping back into simple past! You're very good at hiding it, haha. I guess it's not as heinous a crime as some other tense swapping would be... :'D

Haha! Oddly enough, I deleted one paragraph & now I already feel a lot better about the entire fic/chapter. *blinks!* Funny how that works...

Definitely taking your advice. Thank you! <3 (I think it'll fit better for Day #4 then, though... HMMM...)

^- Whoops, that was me. It logged me out when my Firefox crashed earlier, I think. xD

Hm I guess you feel that the paragraph might have been interrupting a flow or something? At any rate, that's good that you feel better about it now.

Oh or you could write different parts of the big idea that you have for different prompts, but part of an overarching story?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The Author Hub Post for Fic

Re: rinharu week

Re: rinharu week

Re: rinharu week

Re: rinharu week

Re: rinharu week

Re: rinharu week

Re: rinharu week

Re: rinharu week

Re: rinharu week